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Positive boundaries to support your return to work wellbeing

When it’s a busy time of the year, it can be easy for overwhelm to take over and balance to disappear, whilst trying to stay afloat amongst the sea of planning, family and caring commitments. It can be very tempting to put anything non urgent to one side such as your return to work plan or, looking after yourself. Instead, take a moment now, before the mayhem begins, to plan what you can do to create some positive boundaries to maintain your wellbeing over this period and beyond!

What are boundaries and why do we need them?

Boundaries are healthy positive parameters which you set for yourself to help others understand your limits and your expectations. Boundaries are the foundation of good relationships and help to preserve your mental health and wellbeing.

Everyone will react differently to varying levels and types of stress, so understanding what is normal and healthy for you can help you avoid tipping over into stress or overwhelm. And the earlier you can identify your stress signals the better!

Physical boundaries

Let’s start with physical boundaries, those which relate to your body and health. How have you been feeling lately? Take a moment to check in with yourself scanning your body for areas of tension.

What are you missing right now? What have you been neglecting? And what do you need?

· Is it some regular exercise each day, getting outside in the fresh air? Maybe it’s stretching you need, with some yoga or pilates?

· Do you need to find some space for calm to help reset your mind? Some meditation, mindfulness or breathwork could help you to rebalance.

· Sleep. Does your bedtime routine need a tweak away from scrolling and towards winding down with a good book?

Mental boundaries

Mental boundaries relate to where or what, you give your energy to. If you feel mentally drained, then this is a clear sign you need to pull back and set some boundaries in place.

· Resist the urge to be instantly accessible and responsive. You don’t need to answer messages straight away and especially if you are relaxing in the evening. Consider muting WhatsApp groups if they are stressful or turning off notifications.

· Determine the best time of day to complete tasks, when do you have most energy? If you are at your best first thing, then you could schedule some time to keep moving forward on your return to work plan – update your CV, polish up your LinkedIn profile, research companies you are interested in.

Emotional boundaries

Emotional boundaries are about taking ownership for your own feelings and not taking responsibility for other people’s feelings. Emotional boundaries are a must for healthy personal and professional relationships and your wellbeing.

· A protective bubble image is helpful here. Imagine your own thoughts and feelings protected within your own personal bubble boundary.

· Avoid engaging in some else’s bad mood or energy. Choose to separate your thoughts and feelings by physically moving away or mentally visualising your bubble.

· Steer away from unhelpful conversation or negative talk. Well-meaning family or friends may offer return to work advice that isn’t supportive or helpful, remember that this is their view only, you have a choice not to take this on.

Moving forwards with a plan

You might be caring for elderly parents, relatives or children and juggling many commitments but it’s up to you to take responsibility for your wellbeing and prioritise it. When you have healthy boundaries in place you will feel and function much better – for yourself and for others.

Now is always the best time to take action and it doesn’t need to a grand plan! If you can create some small consistent steps each day to honour your boundaries you will be doing well. Here are some examples:

· Take some exercise every day, 15 min walk around the block or 15 mins of yoga. Pop reminders in your phone, diary or on post it notes around the home.

· Swap 30 minutes of your evening phone scroll to read, watch or listen to a helpful or inspiring resource. For your return to work listen to our Career Returners podcast or read our many returner success stories.

· Switch off some of your phone notifications, as many as you dare. Mute busy WhatsApp groups and know that the messages will still be there to answer when you are ready.

Take a moment now to jot down some positive boundaries for your wellbeing. Make them personal and specific to you and your needs and commit to taking action.